A Day in the Life of a 911 Dispatcher:

This is from WAY back, before I was pregnant.

An officer friend of mine asked if I was working dispatch
Saturday night. I'm off so I said "No. Why?" He needs a
babysitter for his 7 month old son for a few hours. I told
him that I'd love to. He had just one more question:

Officer Bahlmann: Are you a good babysitter?
Me: Yeah. I babysit YOU all the time, don't I?
Officer Bahlmann: Yes, you do!

Readers Digest material?? Maybe...
Time of Babysitting - 14:30 - 23:00 (8 1/2 hours)
Baby Awake Time - 17:00 - 22:00 (5 hours)
Total Bottles Fed - 4
Baby Laughed - Yes
Baby Cried - Yes
Total Diapers Changed - 6
Total POOPY Diapers Changed - 2
Total Times the Baby Laughed In My Face As I Was Changing
Above 2 POOPY Diapers - BOTH FREAKIN TIMES!

If anyone wants hormone-free birth control that you
get paid to take - BABYSIT!!!