I'm Married to Anakin Skywalker, or Darth Vader, or Anakin Skywalker, or...

Carrie Fisher, Robin Williams, Jean-Claude VanDamme, Jim Carey, and comedian Kevin McDonald all have something in common: they are bipolar. But maybe the example of Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader hits home the best for us. Most people who know me, know I'm not super into Star Wars - but Ryan is. What does this have to do with anything?

Well, you all have seen firsthand what Ryan and I have been going through lately. It's been a rollercoaster ride and I'm not that into theme parks! He's been to the doctor several times and they keep switching his medicines around. Nothing has been too successful so that's really frustrating. But I just wanted to share the light at the end of our little tunnel.

Ryan has been diagnosed with BiPolar Disorder - aka manic-depressive. I'm so relieved! It might seem strange to be happy about such a difficult and upsetting thing. Most of my fears and concerns have been diminished - but they aren't gone completely. Thanks to modern medicine, Ryan and I know that how he's been feeling and acting isn't really "him" but just something that he couldn't control.

To say someone is bipolar is usually derogatory. Even at my job, where we try to have a better understanding of mental issues, as soon as we hear that someone is bipolar, we cringe - even if they have been taking their meds.

It's now a little easier for me to have empathy for those with bipolar disorder. Ryan has been living with it for years and didn't even know it. All the doctors thought it was "ADD" for such a long time. But with all Ryan's unexplained mood swings in the time of our married life, I decided to dig a little deeper. I looked into the possibility of him being bipolar.

I looked into a few self-quizzes and felt that Ryan had many of the symptoms. I was nervous to approach him with this - and HOW to approach him with this. But it came out after a few days of me wondering about it. Ryan immediately got on his iPod and checked for some symptoms. He scrolled through and then asked me, "Why have none of the doctors seen this?" I was so relieved!

He made an appointment and we went in together. We expressed our concerns to his doctor and gave examples of the issues. The doctor asked him a few additional questions to "officially diagnose" the disorder. There were 12 questions: someone has to have at least 5 of the symptoms in order to be considered for the possibility of bipolar disorder. Ryan was 9. He even answered "yes" to a few things that surprised me - its interesting how you think you know someone so well, but they still have thoughts and feelings that you don't see.

The doctor put "us" on Abilify and said that we should see some improvement within 2 weeks. Follow up appointment will help tweak dosing or we'll move on to a different medicine if it's not helping like it should. Why did I use the word "us" - because we are in this together, he's not in this by himself. I think that's one of the most important things in keeping our little family together.

It's been one week, and we're both starting to see a few little changes already. It's so encouraging to see Ryan happy again. We still have a long way to go, but I'm confident that we can get through this and keep it under control.