Our Story: Newly Wedded Bliss

The first month was horrible. I never want to live that again. It wasn't because Ryan was leaving the toilet seat up, or there were wet towels on the bed. It was because he was still living and working in Salt Lake City while I was almost 5 hours away in St George. Knowing we were that far apart for that long was really hard. He planned to move down once he got some things settled and squared away up there. When you elope on a week's notice, you don't have much time to tie up loose ends.

So, for an entire month, we spent hours on the phone every night. I cried and cried. I never thought I could miss him so much. I did go up and meet his family a week after we eloped. That was awkward. Ryan said his parents were mad, really mad. I did the only thing I could do to help the situation: write a letter and have Ryan print it and put it on their kitchen countertop. I introduced myself and told them about me and my plans. I complimented them on raising such a wonderful son, hoping they would soften up a little. I didn't know what kind of people they were. I just hoped that our crazy beginning wouldn't make for a permanently strained relationship.

The day I met my in laws, I was running late. I was supposed to leave St George in time to get to SLC for dinner. Well, it was nearing 9pm when I finally arrived. I walked to the door. Do I hug them? Shake their hands? Call them Mom & Dad or Paul & Sheila or Mr & Mrs Sharich? I'll just hang back and read their body language.

They politely ushered me inside and we all sat down. I remember cricket chirp, cricket chirp: no one saying anything. To break the silence, my father-in-law said, "So, tell us about yourself." y thought was, "What do you want to know besides what I told you in the letter?" I just started talking about this and that, my job, my house, my family. They asked questions. They were particularly interested in the reasons why my parents were divorced. Well, now THAT is hard to explain. There was no infidelity, no gambling problem, or domestic violence. How to explain that situation. I did the best I could.

I complimented them on their longstanding marriage and that of each of their parents. Both sets of grandparents married for over 50 years and going strong. I told them I had a unique perspective coming from a divorced home and how difficult life was because of it. "I never want that." Ryan had a great perspective on what TO do and I knew what NOT to do. So, as long as we keep communicating, we should be okay. I encouraged their advice, afterall, they had been doing this almost 30 years. We'd been married almost a whole week. We could stand to learn a few things.

Over the next few days, I was paraded around several venues, being introduced by Ryan. He'd say, "This is Rachel, my wife." He just loved the shock and awe factor. Sheesh!

So, our first month was meeting family and rearranging and traveling long distances. I traveled up for Ryan's cousin's wedding and met most of the extended family there. That trip was also to pack up a majority of Ryan's necessities in the back of my truck and haul them down to St George. His family would travel with us in a pack and come see where I lived, worked and played. My mom invited them to dinner to just get to know them.

Ryan moved in with me, my dog and the female police officer who lived in the other bedroom in my house with her 3 year old son. Strange beginnings.

At least we had a plan to wait two years before trying to have a baby. We had time to settle in.... Or did we?